Motherly Love

It’s nearly 6 a.m. and I’m slowly waking up to the tiny coo’s coming from the little person I brought into my bed when she woke up in the middle of the night. I open one eye and try to shove a binky in her mouth, hoping that she will immediately go right back to sleep. “Come on”, I think “just give me another hour.” Sometimes it works and sometimes I have to accept whatever amount of sleep I got and hope to catch a nap later in the day (but I don’t count on it). As unhappy as I am about having to wake up before my body wants me to, I can’t help but smile when I turn my head and see the sweetest little grin- consisting only of two bottom teeth.

The day starts with a feeding and a diaper change for her and a large iced coffee for me- you know, the essentials. As she sits up on her play mat she examines her many toys with her eyes, hands, and mouth. I spend about 10 minutes playing with her before I look around and make a mental list of all the things that need to get done around the house. And then something else catches my attention and I wish I had written that list down on paper.

When I start thinking about my week I realize that I have no idea what day it even is. So I yell out to the only other person in the house who can talk back, “Alexa, what’s the date today?”. She gives me the 411 and when it’s a Friday, a little piece of me dies as I think back to the days when a Friday was always something to look forward to.

I love my daughter more than I ever thought I could love another person, but being alone with her all the time can be- I’m just gonna say it… boring as hell. Saying this makes me feel bad. I look at how big she’s gotten and I can’t believe that what the millions of strangers have told me is actually true. “It goes by so fast!” Ugh I hate when the strangers are right.

It does go by so fast. Suddenly she won’t let me hold her a certain way, so I adjust to her needs without realizing that I’ll never hold her the same way again. I mean, I could but she’s bigger now and it’s not the same. Some days may be boring, but they are also filled with moments of pure happiness and amazement at the little person my baby is becoming. It also doesn’t hurt to have cool neighbors and friends that keep me sane.

At the end of the day, when we’re both in our beds, I go to sleep knowing that I will be woken up in a few hours. I know that I will have to get up, go into her room, and lift her out of her crib to bring her into my bed because I’m too dang tired to do it again. I go to bed knowing all of this and being totally okay with it because I also go to bed knowing that I’ll wake up to the sweetest little two-toothed grin.


Watching your child grow is probably the best reminder of how fleeting life is. As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been trying to work on some lifestyle changes. One of the things on my list is to keep a journal to track Logan’s growth. I’ve always kept a journal but lately I have been so horrible about actually writing in it.

So as I lie awake in bed, not able to sleep because of the amount of caffeine I’ve consumed today.. I choose to write. Not in my journal because that would require lights and a pen, but here in my online diary for all to see!

April was a big month for little Logie. She was baptized, tried solid foods, got two bottom teeth, and started rolling all over the place. So far in May, she has begun to say things like “mamamama” and “dadadadada”, and she sits up on her own like a champ. She’s working on her dexterity all the time and I have so much fun watching her grab things and try to shove them in her mouth.

She’s been sleeping better too! How quickly I’ve forgotten having to wake up every couple of hours for feedings. She was waking up twice for the past couple of months but now she pretty much only wakes up once, usually around 4am. Then goes right back to sleep after I feed her. AND she’s starting to sleep in her crib.

All of these little milestones are amazing to watch. I see this little baby that I brought into the world and just observe as she becomes more and more intelligent each day. It happens so fast! Blake and I hear it ALL THE TIME… “enjoy it, they grow up so fast”. We actually laugh about how many times we hear that when we go out in public because it’s a ridiculous amount. But they really are growing so fast when they’re babies.

During the first three years of life, we learn more than we ever will in any other three years of our lives. That’s why the early stages of life are so important. Babies are constantly absorbing new information and they totally vibe off of the emotions and reactions of the adults around them. I don’t even like yelling at my dog in front of Logan because I don’t want her to think I’m yelling at her. Yelling is toxic and can have lasting effects on a child.

Granted, it’s bound to happen sooner or later when your kid is misbehaving but I think it’s important to try to discipline without yelling. Ever since I’ve become a parent, I think a lot about what a huge responsibility it is. We are responsible for raising a whole generation of people and if we collectively do a great job then the world will be a better place for everyone.

Baby Time

So, I haven’t written in a while. That’s because I start to write and then find myself complaining about being uncomfortable and when I re-read what I’ve written, I hate myself for being a complainer and delete everything.

Well, I’m feeling better today… not physically but mentally. I’m 9 days past my due date and this little babe is showing no signs of coming on her own any time soon. So it’s looking like I might have to be induced tomorrow.

Even though this last week has been the most uncomfortable week of my life, I am grateful to have had the alone time with Blake before baby arrives. I know our lives are about to drastically change and it’s going to be tough at times. It’s funny to me how many people say things like “enjoy this time you have before she gets here!” or “take advantage of your freedom while it lasts”. I know they mean well, but their comments are sort of eerie and “doom impending” to me. I’d like to think that I won’t be the type of person to say something like that to a pregnant mother and father-to-be but who knows, I haven’t experienced the aftermath yet. I think it only bothers me because I already know that it will be difficult. I’ve spent a lot of time taking care of children in the past and trust me, I know. But maybe they think they’re actually helping me by letting me know it will be hard, as if I think it will be a walk in the park.

Anyway, it’s been a strange thing just waiting. Waiting to feel the real pain associated with childbirth. If I think I’m in pain now, I can only imagine how uncomfortable labor will be. Sadly, I was so much more ready to do the whole labor thing about a week ago. Way back then, I had more energy and didn’t feel like my pelvic bone was going to break every time I stood up. I was just uncomfortable enough to want the baby out and I still had the energy to do it. Now I’m feeling less ready only because I’m worried that I’ll be completely exhausted before it even starts to get really difficult. But I expressed these concerns to Blake and he reminded me that my body will do what it’s meant to do and I’ll have inexplicable amounts of energy due to hormones and whatever else is going on in there.

Speaking of which, I feel really lucky to have Blake here to help me through this. Not only because there was a chance that he may not have been here but also because I know he’s really going to help me feel better throughout the whole process. I’ve been a pretty easy going pregnant woman thus far… I don’t ask for much or cry all the time or crave weird things in the middle of the night. But when I asked for a muffin yesterday after Blake said he was going to the convenience store and he came back with no muffin because they didn’t have the one I wanted, I was unreasonably upset. There was nothing to eat for breakfast in our house and I was really looking forward to that muffin. He knew I was mad. I thought he had gone to the gym after that but a little while later he came back with three different muffins. Saying that he went to a different place and they still didn’t have the one I wanted but he got all the other flavors. He tossed three muffins on the couch where I’ve been lounging like a beached whale for the past week and that’s when I remembered why I love him so much.

It’s an unreal feeling knowing that we will become parents tomorrow, or possibly the next day depending on how long labor lasts. All I can say is that I hope it goes by pretty quickly, we have waited long enough to meet this little girl and I can’t wait to finally see her face.

We’ll take all the prayers and positive vibes we can get! So send em’ our way and stay tuned for the arrival of the newest member of our little family.


Grateful for my Husband 

It’s time for my weekly gratitude post and this week I’m feeling extra grateful for my husband. It’s still feels weird to say that word… Husband. I’m 24 years old, married, and own a home… it sure seems like I’m doing everything right.

Well there’s no way that I’d be where I am today without Blake. God had a plan for us that I never would have imagined when we first met. 7 years ago we fell in love but we were young and immature and we broke up a lot. At one point I had accepted the fact that we weren’t getting back together and during that time I was able to find out who I was without him.

After our first year of marriage I can confidently say that I would marry him over and over again given the opportunity. Marriage is not something to be taken lightly. It can be hard work and both people have to make an effort. The scary thing is that no matter how compatible you are, people change and life can get in the way. But if your relationship is worth the time and effort, you don’t give up. You evolve together and fight to make it work.

That being said, I know that all relationships are different. But here are some of the things that are important in my relationship and why I am so grateful for Blake.

He never lets me forget my self-worth 

– When I expressed how nervous I was for my recent job interview he told me that they would be stupid not to hire me. And when they didn’t offer me the job and I expressed how bummed I was about it, he told me that it was ok and that I’ll find something better that I will enjoy more.

He loves me regardless of my flaws 

– Nobody’s perfect, we all know this. I can be an emotional person but Blake loves me even in difficult times. When we were living in North Carolina I was starting to feel really lonely and far from home. Without a job I felt worthless, but he told me that he loved me and that he was grateful that I was there for him.

He agrees with me 

– Of course we have our disagreements at times. But for the most part we agree on what’s important. Aside from the big stuff that we usually agree on, I really love when he agrees with one of my small opinions about home decor or something else that makes me happy.

He is respectful

– Gentlemen are a rare breed these days. Blake has grown into such a polite, respectful and kind hearted man. Not only is he respectful of me but also everyone around him. It makes my heart happy to see him go out of his way to do kind things for other people. This quality is something to be revered.

If you’re married or in a relationship, I hope that your significant other makes you feel grateful in some way. Life gets crazy sometimes but it helps to have a partner to get you through it.

What or who are you grateful for this week?

Motivation Monday #15

Happy Monday Everyone!

Today I would like to share a couple of quotes for the married ladies out there. Even those who are in serious relationships can get a little bit of motivation out of this, I think.

I’ve been reading a book called “Letters to my Daughters The Art of Being a Wife” by Barbara Rainey. A book that I purchased specifically based on the fact that the cover is so beautiful (yes I judge books by their covers- sue me) and because it is a religiously rooted book.

I didn’t go out looking for a book about marriage to help me with my problems, especially because my married life is perfectly fine (so far-haha). But I figured that maybe I could get something out of it for future reference, and after only 65 out of 222 pages I have already read many helpful tips and anecdotes on marriage.

The quotes I am sharing today are in reference to the differences that a husband and wife may struggle with during their marriage.

“Our differences are exactly the ingredients God wanted to use to grow each of us into a better reflection of His image”

“Differences can feel impossible, and even though many will never go away, God can still create beauty and joy in your marriage. So embrace your differences. See them as gifts from God to expand your understanding of Him and His design for your life.”

The author compares marriage to baking a cake, saying that each partner brings a different part of the recipe and together they create a final product, but it takes time and most importantly patience to get it right.

This book is filled with inspiring and helpful marriage advice for christian wives and I would definitely recommend it!

Have a beautiful Monday!

The Perfect Valentines Day Gift

I know a lot of guys think of Valentines Day as a stupid holiday, one that was created purely to empty their pockets. Originally I was planning on making a list of different gift ideas to get for your significant other on Valentines Day but I want to prove that it’s not all about spending money.

Valentines Day is really a day to express how much you love and value your partner. A lot of people have begun to associate that with money, almost like the more you spend, the more you love them. Don’t get me wrong, I love a bouquet of roses and box of chocolates as much as the next girl, but flowers die and chocolate is also a temporary form of satisfaction.

To me, the best thing to do for Valentines Day is to go somewhere or experience something together.

That’s not to say that you have to spend a bunch of money. I mean you can if you want to but you don’t have to.

A few years back, Blake and I went to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art because I wanted to see the “Urban Lights” display where there are rows and rows of vintage street lights all lined up next to one another. He picked me up from the city college after my night class and we headed to Starbucks for a latte. We ventured downtown and I finally got to see the lights all lit up at night, afterwards we decided to stick with the “lights” theme and check out the view from the top of Glendora Mountain Road. Of course we had to get food, so we drove through Del Taco on the way up. We got to the top of the mountain and parked to enjoy the beautiful view of the city down below while we pigged out on chicken tacos.

There was no dinner at an expensive restaurant, no box of chocolates or stuffed animals, just fast food and a beautiful view. The only money he spent was on Starbucks, Del Taco and gas. We were younger so we didn’t have a bunch of money to spend on fancy dinners or presents for each other, but it was definitely my favorite Valentines so far.


Here are some idea’s for dates that would cost little to no money:

Take a trip to the beach– Of course the weather should be appropriate, but the beach is always a good idea.

Go on a hike– For the couple that loves to be active, look up the most beautiful hiking trails in your area (maybe one with a waterfall at the end) and enjoy a hike together.

Breakfast in bed– This is something that both men and women can do for their significant other, as long as you know how to cook bacon you should be good.

Have a picnic– In the park or even in your own backyard, there’s something so sweet about picnics. You don’t even have to make the food yourself, you can order take-out from your favorite restaurant.

Camp out in the living room and have a movie night– This one would be good for those couples who have kids. Just set up a bunch of blankets and pillows on the floor of your living room and rent your favorite movies, wait till the kids fall asleep- make some popcorn and watch your movies!

Bake together– Purchase the ingredients for your favorite cookies and work together to make them, you get to spend time together and you can eat the cookies after, it’s a win-win!

Give each other massages– Another one that can be done by both partners. It’s free and romantic!

& For the big spenders:

Go to a fancy hotel and order room service– Whether you’re across the country or in the same city you live in, it’s always nice to be spoiled. Order room service or roam around the city then have drinks at the hotel.

Go to a spa-Get a couples massage, it’s relaxing and neither of you has to do anything but enjoy it.

Take a trip– Maybe you like road trips, maybe you like Paris… It all depends on how much money you have I guess. But trips with loved ones are the best ways to make memories.

Enjoy a fancy dinner downtown– Maybe you have a favorite restaurant or there’s a place you’ve been dying to try but it’s just too fancy. Make a reservation… like now and enjoy a fancy meal.

Do something exhilarating– For the adrenaline junkies out there, go skydiving, zip lining, bungee jumping or even take a helicopter ride for two over the city. Just a few ideas for those who don’t value their lives- KIDDING.. kinda.

Buy a puppy– Haha ok, this one may not be very realistic. You should probably (and by probably- I mean definitely) be married if you are buying a pet with your significant other, and you should also have been wanting to get one for quite some time…… BUT I think it would be a fun date to go to the animal shelter and pick out a new member of the family.

The moral of the story is that there is no greater gift to give your partner than your undivided attention and time. Spend as much money as you want but in the end, money and presents don’t make relationships last, love does. So make memories.