Motherly Love

It’s nearly 6 a.m. and I’m slowly waking up to the tiny coo’s coming from the little person I brought into my bed when she woke up in the middle of the night. I open one eye and try to shove a binky in her mouth, hoping that she will immediately go right back to sleep. “Come on”, I think “just give me another hour.” Sometimes it works and sometimes I have to accept whatever amount of sleep I got and hope to catch a nap later in the day (but I don’t count on it). As unhappy as I am about having to wake up before my body wants me to, I can’t help but smile when I turn my head and see the sweetest little grin- consisting only of two bottom teeth.

The day starts with a feeding and a diaper change for her and a large iced coffee for me- you know, the essentials. As she sits up on her play mat she examines her many toys with her eyes, hands, and mouth. I spend about 10 minutes playing with her before I look around and make a mental list of all the things that need to get done around the house. And then something else catches my attention and I wish I had written that list down on paper.

When I start thinking about my week I realize that I have no idea what day it even is. So I yell out to the only other person in the house who can talk back, “Alexa, what’s the date today?”. She gives me the 411 and when it’s a Friday, a little piece of me dies as I think back to the days when a Friday was always something to look forward to.

I love my daughter more than I ever thought I could love another person, but being alone with her all the time can be- I’m just gonna say it… boring as hell. Saying this makes me feel bad. I look at how big she’s gotten and I can’t believe that what the millions of strangers have told me is actually true. “It goes by so fast!” Ugh I hate when the strangers are right.

It does go by so fast. Suddenly she won’t let me hold her a certain way, so I adjust to her needs without realizing that I’ll never hold her the same way again. I mean, I could but she’s bigger now and it’s not the same. Some days may be boring, but they are also filled with moments of pure happiness and amazement at the little person my baby is becoming. It also doesn’t hurt to have cool neighbors and friends that keep me sane.

At the end of the day, when we’re both in our beds, I go to sleep knowing that I will be woken up in a few hours. I know that I will have to get up, go into her room, and lift her out of her crib to bring her into my bed because I’m too dang tired to do it again. I go to bed knowing all of this and being totally okay with it because I also go to bed knowing that I’ll wake up to the sweetest little two-toothed grin.

Advertisements

Milestones

Watching your child grow is probably the best reminder of how fleeting life is. As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been trying to work on some lifestyle changes. One of the things on my list is to keep a journal to track Logan’s growth. I’ve always kept a journal but lately I have been so horrible about actually writing in it.

So as I lie awake in bed, not able to sleep because of the amount of caffeine I’ve consumed today.. I choose to write. Not in my journal because that would require lights and a pen, but here in my online diary for all to see!

April was a big month for little Logie. She was baptized, tried solid foods, got two bottom teeth, and started rolling all over the place. So far in May, she has begun to say things like “mamamama” and “dadadadada”, and she sits up on her own like a champ. She’s working on her dexterity all the time and I have so much fun watching her grab things and try to shove them in her mouth.

She’s been sleeping better too! How quickly I’ve forgotten having to wake up every couple of hours for feedings. She was waking up twice for the past couple of months but now she pretty much only wakes up once, usually around 4am. Then goes right back to sleep after I feed her. AND she’s starting to sleep in her crib.

All of these little milestones are amazing to watch. I see this little baby that I brought into the world and just observe as she becomes more and more intelligent each day. It happens so fast! Blake and I hear it ALL THE TIME… “enjoy it, they grow up so fast”. We actually laugh about how many times we hear that when we go out in public because it’s a ridiculous amount. But they really are growing so fast when they’re babies.

During the first three years of life, we learn more than we ever will in any other three years of our lives. That’s why the early stages of life are so important. Babies are constantly absorbing new information and they totally vibe off of the emotions and reactions of the adults around them. I don’t even like yelling at my dog in front of Logan because I don’t want her to think I’m yelling at her. Yelling is toxic and can have lasting effects on a child.

Granted, it’s bound to happen sooner or later when your kid is misbehaving but I think it’s important to try to discipline without yelling. Ever since I’ve become a parent, I think a lot about what a huge responsibility it is. We are responsible for raising a whole generation of people and if we collectively do a great job then the world will be a better place for everyone.

Motivation Monday #63

 

It’s Monday yet again and October is among us. The weather is cooling down and the holidays are approaching (yay!). I’ve been thinking a lot lately about self-discipline. It’s something that I think a lot of people could focus more on. We need to be able to hold ourselves accountable for our actions. We need to be our own biggest motivators.

Values such as loyalty and respect are of great importance to me. To the people I love, I will always be loyal. My friends, family, husband, they never have to worry that I wouldn’t stick by their side through difficult times. To all others I do my best to be respectful. Regardless of how much I dislike someone or how much I disagree with them, I will approach the situation with a level of respect because we are all human and none of us are perfect. These are just a couple of things that for me personally are very important.

We’re all just imperfect people trying to be strong in the world. Some do better than others, some give up entirely. It takes a little self-discipline to do just about anything that nourishes your life. Whether you’re going to school, trying to lose 10 pounds, keeping a marriage strong or just trying to keep it together without having a mental breakdown. You are the only one who can make the decision to not give up. Although things may happen to you that will break you down, it is up to you to build yourself back up again.

Whenever I feel like I’m losing grasp of a healthy lifestyle, I feel guilty. I’m not a health nut by any means. Even when I’m doing my best, I still enjoy a greasy burger and sweets from time to time. But the guilt that I feel is me holding myself accountable for my actions. Self-discipline is me actually doing something about it. No one can make me unhealthy except myself.

There’s a vast array of things that each of us can work on to be the best version of ourselves. Maybe you have a hard time controlling your anger, maybe you’re too quick to judge others. It’s possible that you feel like giving up on a long term goal or commitment. Maybe you’re sick of being unorganized or you have an addiction. Shoot, maybe you’re just an asshole and you want to change. Our parents did their part in disciplining us as children (some better than others) but now as adults, it’s our job to discipline ourselves.

None of us will ever be perfect but we can sure as hell try to be better. Do it for the people who love you but more importantly, do it for yourself. I know that everyone has something that they can work on and I hope that I’ve motivated you to be better.

Have a happy Monday!

 

Motivation Monday #57

Good morning and happy Monday!

Monday’s are the beginning of each new week, we get to start something new or focus on getting closer to a goal that we have already begun.

Lately my Mondays are the beginning of each new week of pregnancy. Today marks the 18 week point. My friend pointed out that I’m almost halfway through and that is pretty crazy. My belly is definitely growing but at this point it just looks like I’ve given up on my health, basically it looks more like a beer belly than a baby belly. It’s so frustrating getting dressed and not fitting into my clothes the same way anymore. Everyone will try to comfort me and say “You’re not fat, you’re pregnant!” and to that I say, “I know! But right now I don’t look pregnant, I just look fat!”. So there’s that.

According to my pregnancy app, our baby is currently the size of a bell pepper, about 5 1/2 inches long and weights about 7 ounces. We get to find out whether we’re having  boy or a girl in a couple of weeks and that’s definitely something to look forward to.

Speaking of things to look forward to, I’ll get back to the point of this post and remind you that there is always something to look forward to. If you need a little extra motivation this Monday, just remember it’s not forever. You’ll get through today and the weekend will be back before you know it. You may have a birthday to look forward to or some other event that will get you out of the house and bring you closer to friends and family. Work hard today so that you can enjoy those days off even more.

Have a lovely week!

Motivation Monday #53

You thought I forgot it was Monday huh? Well you’re not wrong… I forgot for about half the day and then when I remembered, I kept forgetting to post my Motivation Monday.

Well better late than never, it may be the end of the day but there’s still four days left in the week for which you may need a little motivating- So here goes!

As I mentioned briefly in a previous post, I’ve been trying to get back into going to church and I have finally found a place that feels like a good fit for me. On top of that I’ve been attending a women’s bible study and we’re currently reading a book titled “Uninvited” by Lysa TerKeurst. There are a lot of great verses tucked in the pages of this book. I’ll share one with you tonight that stood out to me as I read today.

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Matthew 6:26-27 NIV

I read this and immediately thought about how much time I spend worrying about things that I don’t always have complete control over. The birds getting the food they need to survive is an example of how God will always take care of us. There may be struggles and it may seem unfair at times. But we always learn from the more difficult times in our lives. There’s no point in worrying because our lives are already planed out for us- what we think is our purpose can change at the drop of a hat. Live life and cherish the good times, try not to stress about the rest.

 

HAVE A FANTASTIC WEEK! And to all the mommas out there, I hope you feel extra loved this Sunday 🙂

Motivation Monday #52

Happy first day of May! It’s Monday again and you know what that means- it’s time to get motivated. If you’re struggling to get through the day, just remember- YOU CAN DO IT.

I think it’s interesting how we sometimes think that we are incapable of doing something until it happens to us. Such is the case for things that may not necessarily be in your control, for example- fighting off some sort of serious illness. But what about the things that we do have control over? I think it’s pretty much the same, you may have a goal that you want to accomplish but you don’t have enough faith in yourself to actually go for it. Try to not think of it as a choice, think of it as a responsibility- something that you absolutely must do in order to better your life. Whether you’re struggling to get through school or struggling to lose 10 pounds, YOU CAN DO IT, because YOU MUST DO IT to improve your quality of life.

I hope everyone has a beautiful week, I have a feeling that May is going to be a very productive month! Sending love to my readers XOXO

Motivation Monday #50

Happy 50th Motivation Monday! I hope everyone had a relaxing Easter weekend spent with loved ones.

Easter is a great holiday for a few reasons. First of all, it’s the beginning of Spring and the weather is always perfect. Second, there are lot’s of jellybeans and chocolate bunnies involved. And last but absolutely not least, it’s a great reminder that our time here is not permanent.

Jesus died so that we may continue to live beyond this life. Even if you aren’t Christian, or don’t believe in God, you can’t deny that our time here is only temporary. We are all leaving this earth at some point, so shouldn’t we make our days on this planet count?

To me that means doing good things and attempting to make the world a better place for future generations. So I’ve come up with a list of things that you may be able to do in order to make a difference.

  • Start a community garden
  • Ride your bicycle if it’s an option
  • Teach your children to have manners and care for others
  • Recycle and find ways to cut down on your usage of plastic
  • Stop buying products with questionable ingredients in them, especially if it’s something you’re consuming or putting on your body
  • Plant flowers that bee’s can use to collect pollen
  • Volunteer with an organization that you like or make donations
  • Spend less time on your phone and computer and watch less TV

 

These things seem simple but I know that it can take some convincing. In fact, I’m even trying to convince myself to do some of these things. If we are all just a little more mindful of the things we do/buy/say on a daily basis, we will become more aware of what we should really be doing.

Just because were not going to be here forever doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take care of our home for now, in fact it’s all the more reason to do so because we don’t want to leave our grandchildren to suffer on a rotten planet.

Have a beautiful week and stay motivated!

Motivation Monday #49

Happy Monday everyone!

I’m really having to force myself to do anything today. Our new puppy wakes up a couple times a night and I definitely don’t feel motivated when I haven’t gotten enough sleep, on top of that I’m not feeling so great but I will prevail! Luckily I knew ahead of time what I wanted to post for this week’s Motivation Monday, it’s a quote I heard at church the other day.

Speaking of church, we have admittedly not been attending as much as we would like to, and it’s been a long while since we’ve had a church that we really loved. It’s kinda funny how back when we were attending church “religiously”, I would hear the pastor talk about people veering away and think- nope not me. But life just has a strange way of changing things. After moving a couple of times and dealing with Blake’s insane schedule we had been lacking the motivation to start looking for new churches to attend. After trying a couple that didn’t feel like a great fit, we finally found one that was pretty good. It felt so nice to be back in that atmosphere. The pastor recited the following quote which we loved and I’d like to share it with all of you.

“You cannot judge success on what position you have,

You can only judge success by what you have had to overcome to get there.”

-Booker T. Washington

My interpretation is that everyone experiences things differently and certain things may come more easily to some than they do to others. Have faith in yourself and continue to focus on your goals, even if it seems like it’s taking longer than it should- everyone is different and the harder you work, the more rewarded you will feel when it’s accomplished. We aren’t all handed the same deck of cards in life, but we shouldn’t let that stop us from dreaming. Have a fantastic week!

Motivation Monday #47

Happy Monday!

Today I plan on setting goals for myself. I’ve realized that I feel the most in control of my life when I come up with a plan to reach my goals.

Time goes by and things change which makes it harder for us to stick to certain commitments we make for ourselves.

For a while I was working out at least 4 days a week and eating fairly healthy food. My body looked healthier and more importantly, I felt great!

I’ve slowly let go of my good habits because a lot of changes have taken place in my life over the last year. I no longer live in an apartment where the gym is a few steps away, when I started woking I didn’t have the time to plan meals like I used to so I started eating whatever was quick and easy. This is just one example of something that I want to become more diligent about again.

I also want to focus on my school work and start to complete my assignments before they’re due as I did when I first started instead of waiting till the last minute as I have been doing lately. I want to keep an organized and clean household because in my opinion, the cleaner my house is, the clearer my mind is. For example, I like to get the dishes done right away rather than having them sit out for days, then I can focus on doing everything else I need to do. And last but not least, I want to get back on track with my blogging. Writing is so important to me and it’s such a great outlet with which I can express myself in a positive way.

There are so many things in life that just take a little self-discipline. We can fall out of good habits and that’s okay, sometimes we need a little break. But it’s important that we always get back on track and make sure that were living our lives in a way that makes us happy.

I hope I’m not the only one who will use this Monday as a fresh start. You can do anything you set your mind to!

Have a beautiful week 🙂

Spread the Love

Today I want to get a head start on the Valentine’s Day celebrating and just spread a little love. 

I see so many friends on social media arguing about politics lately and to that I say- I’ve had enough. 

Enough of the negativity from both sides. And enough of the anger and hatred.

I want to remind everyone to appreciate the goood things in life and stop focusing on the bad. The more you focus on negative things the more negative your life will be. 

Think about your health, your family, the people you love, your job, your home, and even the food on your table. Be grateful.

The holiday of love is fast approaching and whether you are in a relationship or not, this is a good time to be thankful for anyone you love- your parents, siblings, friends- even your dog! 

Don’t get so caught up in life’s stressful moments. Buy a box of chocolates, share them with a friend. Get your mom some flowers. Bake your neighbor some cookies. Maybe even buy a meal for someone in need. Just spread the love, because we sure could use a little more of it these days.