Motherly Love

It’s nearly 6 a.m. and I’m slowly waking up to the tiny coo’s coming from the little person I brought into my bed when she woke up in the middle of the night. I open one eye and try to shove a binky in her mouth, hoping that she will immediately go right back to sleep. “Come on”, I think “just give me another hour.” Sometimes it works and sometimes I have to accept whatever amount of sleep I got and hope to catch a nap later in the day (but I don’t count on it). As unhappy as I am about having to wake up before my body wants me to, I can’t help but smile when I turn my head and see the sweetest little grin- consisting only of two bottom teeth.

The day starts with a feeding and a diaper change for her and a large iced coffee for me- you know, the essentials. As she sits up on her play mat she examines her many toys with her eyes, hands, and mouth. I spend about 10 minutes playing with her before I look around and make a mental list of all the things that need to get done around the house. And then something else catches my attention and I wish I had written that list down on paper.

When I start thinking about my week I realize that I have no idea what day it even is. So I yell out to the only other person in the house who can talk back, “Alexa, what’s the date today?”. She gives me the 411 and when it’s a Friday, a little piece of me dies as I think back to the days when a Friday was always something to look forward to.

I love my daughter more than I ever thought I could love another person, but being alone with her all the time can be- I’m just gonna say it… boring as hell. Saying this makes me feel bad. I look at how big she’s gotten and I can’t believe that what the millions of strangers have told me is actually true. “It goes by so fast!” Ugh I hate when the strangers are right.

It does go by so fast. Suddenly she won’t let me hold her a certain way, so I adjust to her needs without realizing that I’ll never hold her the same way again. I mean, I could but she’s bigger now and it’s not the same. Some days may be boring, but they are also filled with moments of pure happiness and amazement at the little person my baby is becoming. It also doesn’t hurt to have cool neighbors and friends that keep me sane.

At the end of the day, when we’re both in our beds, I go to sleep knowing that I will be woken up in a few hours. I know that I will have to get up, go into her room, and lift her out of her crib to bring her into my bed because I’m too dang tired to do it again. I go to bed knowing all of this and being totally okay with it because I also go to bed knowing that I’ll wake up to the sweetest little two-toothed grin.

Advertisements

Milestones

Watching your child grow is probably the best reminder of how fleeting life is. As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been trying to work on some lifestyle changes. One of the things on my list is to keep a journal to track Logan’s growth. I’ve always kept a journal but lately I have been so horrible about actually writing in it.

So as I lie awake in bed, not able to sleep because of the amount of caffeine I’ve consumed today.. I choose to write. Not in my journal because that would require lights and a pen, but here in my online diary for all to see!

April was a big month for little Logie. She was baptized, tried solid foods, got two bottom teeth, and started rolling all over the place. So far in May, she has begun to say things like “mamamama” and “dadadadada”, and she sits up on her own like a champ. She’s working on her dexterity all the time and I have so much fun watching her grab things and try to shove them in her mouth.

She’s been sleeping better too! How quickly I’ve forgotten having to wake up every couple of hours for feedings. She was waking up twice for the past couple of months but now she pretty much only wakes up once, usually around 4am. Then goes right back to sleep after I feed her. AND she’s starting to sleep in her crib.

All of these little milestones are amazing to watch. I see this little baby that I brought into the world and just observe as she becomes more and more intelligent each day. It happens so fast! Blake and I hear it ALL THE TIME… “enjoy it, they grow up so fast”. We actually laugh about how many times we hear that when we go out in public because it’s a ridiculous amount. But they really are growing so fast when they’re babies.

During the first three years of life, we learn more than we ever will in any other three years of our lives. That’s why the early stages of life are so important. Babies are constantly absorbing new information and they totally vibe off of the emotions and reactions of the adults around them. I don’t even like yelling at my dog in front of Logan because I don’t want her to think I’m yelling at her. Yelling is toxic and can have lasting effects on a child.

Granted, it’s bound to happen sooner or later when your kid is misbehaving but I think it’s important to try to discipline without yelling. Ever since I’ve become a parent, I think a lot about what a huge responsibility it is. We are responsible for raising a whole generation of people and if we collectively do a great job then the world will be a better place for everyone.

Grateful for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is finally here and although I did miss a couple of weeks, I managed to write about one thing that I am grateful for almost every week since I began.

Today is a day to reflect on every reason that you have to be thankful, whether it’s a person, place, feeling, thing or literally anything else. There are so many reasons to be thankful, LITERALLY SO MANY!

We focus on such trivial things in our day to day lives that our attention is often taken away from what matters most. Forget the stresses of your job and any drama in your life and be grateful for the people who love you, the things that make you happy and the places you love to be. I am so grateful for this holiday and the opportunity to gather with family and eat delicious food.

To those of you who take the time to read my blog, I am thankful for you and I hope that you have a wonderful turkey day!

XOXO

Grateful for Family

Thanksgiving is only one month away and I know exactly what I’m grateful for this week.

FAMILY!

The older I get, the more I appreciate the time that I get to spend with my immediate and extended family. Living in North Carolina was the first time that I realized how much quality time with family really matters to me since there was a major lack of it while I was there. When you see someone every day or every week, you don’t think about what your life would be like without them in it for a longer period of time.

Last week I was able to drive home in just two hours to spend time with my family, having my aunt and cousin visiting from out of state made it an eventful time. It reminded me of the vacations that we all used to take together when we were younger. My mom and her siblings would set up these big family vacations for everyone, it wouldn’t happen every year but when it did it was always so fun and memorable.

Since we’re all getting older now and those of us who are still referred to as “the kids” have different schedules on top of the schedules of our parents, we haven’t really been able to schedule any more of those family trips. But it’s my goal to make it happen again, because I’m not ready for all the growing up that’s been going on lately and a family trip would be a good distraction from everything.

To my family, I hope you all know how much you mean to me!

XOXO

 

What are you grateful for this week?

 

Grateful for the Moment

Fall is in the air (well- some days) and we are one week closer to Thanksgiving, which means I get to share one more thing that makes me feel grateful. This week I am feeling grateful to be able to enjoy the moment.

Lately my mind has been e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e, one minute I’m thinking about bills and the fact that I need to find a job and the next minute I’m thinking about life and death. So when I find myself enjoying a moment with friends and my mind is not filled with worries, I feel grateful.

I think it’s common for people to stress themselves out just by thinking about things that they need or want to do. It is important to remember that it doesn’t take much in life to make you feel truly happy. It’s the moments we share with the people we love that are far more important than how much money we make or what kind of things we have.

I hope everyone had a great weekend and stay tuned for tomorrows weekly motivation!

Grateful for Friends

No I’m not talking about the T.V. show but if I’m being honest, I’m pretty grateful for that too!

I’m talking about the people who keep my life interesting, the ones who love me even though they don’t have to. The people who make me laugh and encourage me to be the best that I can be simply because they care about me. What a wonderful thing friendship is, just two complete strangers who create a bond like no other. If all else fails in life, at least we have our friends.

I have been blessed with so many wonderful friendships throughout my life so far. Some friends came and went but I have never forgotten the bonds that I had with them. I still think about all of them from time to time and hope they are doing well. Then there are the friends who came and stuck around, the people who have become more like family to me. For these people, I am eternally grateful! My life would simply not be the same without them and I truly believe that I am a better person just for knowing them.

I’ll be having dinner with two of my best friends tonight and although we are growing up and our lives are getting busier, I know that these two ladies will always be a part of my life. We’ve made it through distance, weddings, schools and new jobs with a bond just as strong or stronger than before.

This week goes out to all of the good friends out there! Be grateful that someone has chosen you to be their person!

 

Always be Grateful

I’ve made it through another year of life and rather than dreading getting older I’m feeling very grateful to be alive and surrounded by so much love. I spent my birthday, first by having a nice lunch with my grandma who has taken me out to lunch for almost every single birthday of my life. Later in the day, a few of my friends and some of my family joined me for a lovely birthday dinner at a Thai restaurant.

I sort of threw the plans together at the last minute because I almost forgot that it was my birthday. It was a Tuesday and I was still so wrapped up in the festivities of my brothers wedding over the weekend. Also, I never thought I would be this person.. but I can see how people lose enthusiasm for their birthdays the older they get.

This birthday was a wonderful reminder of what I should really be grateful for in life. I wasn’t expecting any gifts which made it even more of a treat when I actually got one. I wasn’t expecting so many people to be able to attend a last minute get-together but those who showed up made it really special. Even just a card with a sweet little note inside made me happy and reminded me that I am loved.

They say less is more, and in this case it certainly was. So since I have been reminded of all the little things in life that make me happy I’ve decided to start a gratitude train. I’ll think of something that I am grateful for and share with you each week until Thanksgiving. I encourage you to think of the things in your life that make you happy to be alive. You can share in a comment below or keep them to yourself, just remember that there is always something to be grateful for!