So, I haven’t written in a while. That’s because I start to write and then find myself complaining about being uncomfortable and when I re-read what I’ve written, I hate myself for being a complainer and delete everything.
Well, I’m feeling better today… not physically but mentally. I’m 9 days past my due date and this little babe is showing no signs of coming on her own any time soon. So it’s looking like I might have to be induced tomorrow.
Even though this last week has been the most uncomfortable week of my life, I am grateful to have had the alone time with Blake before baby arrives. I know our lives are about to drastically change and it’s going to be tough at times. It’s funny to me how many people say things like “enjoy this time you have before she gets here!” or “take advantage of your freedom while it lasts”. I know they mean well, but their comments are sort of eerie and “doom impending” to me. I’d like to think that I won’t be the type of person to say something like that to a pregnant mother and father-to-be but who knows, I haven’t experienced the aftermath yet. I think it only bothers me because I already know that it will be difficult. I’ve spent a lot of time taking care of children in the past and trust me, I know. But maybe they think they’re actually helping me by letting me know it will be hard, as if I think it will be a walk in the park.
Anyway, it’s been a strange thing just waiting. Waiting to feel the real pain associated with childbirth. If I think I’m in pain now, I can only imagine how uncomfortable labor will be. Sadly, I was so much more ready to do the whole labor thing about a week ago. Way back then, I had more energy and didn’t feel like my pelvic bone was going to break every time I stood up. I was just uncomfortable enough to want the baby out and I still had the energy to do it. Now I’m feeling less ready only because I’m worried that I’ll be completely exhausted before it even starts to get really difficult. But I expressed these concerns to Blake and he reminded me that my body will do what it’s meant to do and I’ll have inexplicable amounts of energy due to hormones and whatever else is going on in there.
Speaking of which, I feel really lucky to have Blake here to help me through this. Not only because there was a chance that he may not have been here but also because I know he’s really going to help me feel better throughout the whole process. I’ve been a pretty easy going pregnant woman thus far… I don’t ask for much or cry all the time or crave weird things in the middle of the night. But when I asked for a muffin yesterday after Blake said he was going to the convenience store and he came back with no muffin because they didn’t have the one I wanted, I was unreasonably upset. There was nothing to eat for breakfast in our house and I was really looking forward to that muffin. He knew I was mad. I thought he had gone to the gym after that but a little while later he came back with three different muffins. Saying that he went to a different place and they still didn’t have the one I wanted but he got all the other flavors. He tossed three muffins on the couch where I’ve been lounging like a beached whale for the past week and that’s when I remembered why I love him so much.
It’s an unreal feeling knowing that we will become parents tomorrow, or possibly the next day depending on how long labor lasts. All I can say is that I hope it goes by pretty quickly, we have waited long enough to meet this little girl and I can’t wait to finally see her face.
We’ll take all the prayers and positive vibes we can get! So send em’ our way and stay tuned for the arrival of the newest member of our little family.