The struggles of being shy

Shyness- If it was a disease, it would be my diagnosis. Ever since I was a little girl I have been shy, as a young child I was almost painfully shy. I can vividly remember leaving school with my dad once when I was a kid and a new classmate said goodbye to me. I was too shy to even say goodbye back. My dad said, “Tori, when someone says goodbye to you you should say it back”. I didn’t understand that I was being rude by just smiling instead of saying something, I just didn’t feel comfortable using my voice. Being shy has been a struggle for me my whole life, if you are also shy then you can probably relate to the following examples.

Making friends can be difficult

When you’re shy, it can be difficult to even have “small talk” with someone. You just don’t know what to say other than “hello”, so you stay quiet and smile or just mind your own business. I’ll never forget when I was in high school and an old friend of mine said that her friend didn’t like me because I didn’t talk a lot. I had only met her a few times but that was all it took for her to judge me and decide that she didn’t want to be friends with me. Well, it was her loss! Plus I didn’t want to be friends with her anyway because she was mean.

Job Interviews don’t usually go so well for you

In High School I had an interview for a job at hot dog on a stick, it was a group interview and that made me especially nervous. I had learned in school that it’s good to ask questions when interviewing for a job. I can’t remember the actual interview but I do remember when the interviewer asked if we had any questions at the end and all I could think to ask was “How much would we be getting paid?” UGH I wanted to slap myself as soon as it came out of my mouth. I knew it was a minimum wage job, and I also knew that it was a bad question to ask but I was eager to ask any question just to stand out and that was the only thing I could come up with. Anyway, I didn’t get the job and I wasn’t surprised, but I never bought anything from them again just to “stick” it to em!

People think you’re mean or rude

Not only does being shy make you uncomfortable in certain social situations, it also makes others uncomfortable  when you can’t carry on a decent conversation with them, so you stay quiet and try not to be noticed. Sometimes people can take this the wrong way, they see that you’re not interacting with people so they assume that you’re mean. Once people actually get to know you they say things like, “you’re actually really cool” or ” you’re nothing like I thought you would be when we first met”.

You don’t want to be shy

The biggest struggle for shy people is that they don’t actually want to be shy. We see other people putting themselves out there and we WISH that we could be like them. We envy the people who are outgoing, people who have no problem putting themselves out there are more likely to get good jobs and make lot’s of friends. People who aren’t shy do not understand how hard it is. They think we can just change the way we are at the drop of a hat. Eventually we can become less shy if we try, but still in certain situations we cant help but feel timid.

Classroom settings are terrifying to you

In 5th grade I had the world’s worst math teacher, it didn’t help much that I was already horrible at math, but what made it worse was that my teacher was the type of person to yell at the students and make them feel like complete idiots in front of the whole class if they didn’t get the answer right. From 5th grade on, I would hold back from raising my hand to give an answer in class even if I was pretty sure I was right. I didn’t want to risk being humiliated in front of my peers for possibly saying the wrong thing. The amount of anxiety a shy person gets when they are randomly called on in class is through the roof, and don’t even get me started on presentations! I think any normal person gets nervous before making presentation in front of a large group of people but shy people get majorly stressed out.

Communicating through writing is so much easier for you

If you’re shy, you dread having to make phone calls to the dentist or for work related issues. Thankfully we live in the 21st century and are able to communicate through text, e-mail or social media and for us shy people it is such a relief to not have to deal with the awkward phone call. I prefer communicating via writing because it gives me time to think about what I want to say and it’s less stressful.

Thankfully, as I have gotten older I’ve overcome a lot of the things that used to be scary for me as a child. I still don’t open up to people right away but when I do, it becomes easy for me to be myself around that person and no longer feel shy or awkward. It’s always just the initial process of getting to know someone that I don’t really look forward to. Now if I could only make it through a job interview without asking how much money I would be making. KIDDING. I learned my lesson there.

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3 Comments

  1. I relate to all of these points. I would make myself brave the raising of my hand in class every so often and every time I spoke aloud, my heart would start POUNDING. It still does once in a while when I’m offering myself up for something.

    Liked by 1 person

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